Showing posts with label joke. Show all posts
Showing posts with label joke. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

The Husband Store

Husband Store

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!


So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:


Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:


Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:


Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:


Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:



Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:


Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

PLEASE NOTE:

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

How marriages last 50 years

An armed hooded robber bursts into the Texas Bank
and forces the tellers to load a sack full of cash.

On his way out the door with the loot a brave Texas customer grabs the hood and pulls it off revealing the robber's face. The robber shoots this brave Texan without hesitation!

He then looks around the bank to see if anyone else has seen him. One of the tellers is looking straight at him and the robber shoots him also.

Everyone else, by now is very scared and looking down at the floor. The Robber calls out, "Did anyone else see my face?" There are a few moments silence, and then an old man, while still looking down, tentatively raises his hand and says,

"I think my wife may have caught a glimpse of you."

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

...And then the fight started

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, "What's on TV?"
I said, "Dust."


And then the fight started.