How marriages last 50 years

An armed hooded robber bursts into the Texas Bank
and forces the tellers to load a sack full of cash.

On his way out the door with the loot a brave Texas customer grabs the hood and pulls it off revealing the robber's face. The robber shoots this brave Texan without hesitation!

He then looks around the bank to see if anyone else has seen him. One of the tellers is looking straight at him and the robber shoots him also.

Everyone else, by now is very scared and looking down at the floor. The Robber calls out, "Did anyone else see my face?" There are a few moments silence, and then an old man, while still looking down, tentatively raises his hand and says,

"I think my wife may have caught a glimpse of you."

And then the Fight Started

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."

I bought her a scale.

And then the fight started.